Seeing and being seen

On the alchemy and tenderness between artist and subject

Robert Siegelman, “The Model and The Photographer,” Print sizes vary, 2023. Photo courtesy Robert Siegelman.

A few years ago I had a chance, as an actor, to role-play clients with social work students. The first time, I portrayed a young woman with a history of abandonment whose therapist was terminating their relationship. Some student-therapists were better at connecting than others, and the good ones helped me to soften. With the bad ones, I found myself stiffening and resistant.

Toward the end of the class, the professor sat across from me and took on the therapist role. I ended up in tears. Even in character, I was making connections I’d never made about my own old feelings of abandonment. I suddenly understood how saying goodbye could be done with warmth and tenderness. The professor was present with me every step.

After class, I went up to her. “I didn’t realize until now that therapy is a spiritual practice,” I said.