Resting stern face
On seeing, and gently removing, the masks we wear with others
Good winter solstice, my friends. Ocean in a Drop will be on a short hiatus over the holidays. May you find some stillness and light, and whatever sustenance you need.
You’ve heard of resting bitch face? I have resting stern face (although I suppose it’s all in the eye of the beholder). My boyfriend noticed it recently. He called it “professorial,” and I can feel my way into the look; it’s where I think, brood, and expound on big ideas. That facial expression can be an armor.
I was not even aware I’d been doing it, but I knew immediately what he was talking about; my brow has been furrowed since I was small. Still, I was not aware how pervasive the expression is in my life. Resting stern face is the mask I put on to get through the day, and so much disappears behind it! Joy, goofiness, tenderness, simple connection. It broadcasts a competent, don’t-mess-with-me vibe. The stern persona, which is also that of the art critic (or this one, anyway), hiding behind a fortress of intellect.
When he observed it, I suddenly and with dawning horror saw how I have deployed resting stern face through the years in intimate relationships.
